Bump Update: Week 36

Week: 36
Baby Size: Large Cantaloupe
Pregnancy Side Effects: LOTS. None to complain about, but plenty to keep me tired and uncomfortable.
Bump Status: Large triangle, square sometimes, usually round.... LOL Quinn moves so much and distorts my stomach so much its crazy to watch.

Currently...
Eating: Cereal, Salads, Cottage Cheese, Chocolate....
Craving: Taco Bell Supreme Tacos... Like, ALL of them...
Drinking: Water, Gatorade
Wearing: Maternity pants and tanks... Whatever's comfortable, Pajamas as early in the day as possible.
Feeling: Good overall, just tired, sore, uncomfortable.
Weather: Weather has been windy, but still on the cooler side. Im loving it!
Wanting: A year long vacation.
Thinking: About going into labor.... When... How.... Etc....
Enjoying: S L E E P. & any time I get with Justin.
Missing: Im in that anxious large stage where youre constantly thinking about getting your "body" back... Lol I cant wait to run and work out again, but that day will come soon enough and by then I wont want to anymore... Lol
Doing: Working, Trying to see a few last movies in theaters before those days are behind us for awhile, and trying to keep up with our family and friends get togethers. The last two months have been so busy.. We did assemble all the baby stuff and our house is officially ready for Quinn!
Looking Forward To: Maternity Leave.....






36 weeks!? How did we get here!? The 36th week is special to me because with Liam, we went into labor at the end of 36 weeks/day one of the 37th week. Ive been praying the Quinn comes when shes fully developed enough to thrive healthily on her own, But Im also (not so secretly) hoping that's in about a week. This week we set up the pack & play, rock & play, and the co-sleeper. All her clothes, sheets, etc are washed. Our hospital bag is backed and ready to go. We are at the stage where we feel fully ready and my hormones are in overdrive. The yearning I feel about being so close to holding our baby girl is just too much. The anticipation to actually mother another living child is consuming. Especially knowing we are so close.


With Liam, I assumed we would go full term, the full 40 weeks or so, especially because the whole pregnancy was textbook normal and going so well. So, when we went into labor after 36 weeks it was completely unexpected. I didn't have time to get really nervous yet, or over analyze everything. I was still just floating on day by day being pregnant. This time around, I know how early it happened last time, so all I can do is compare and wonder every second from here on out if "today is the day". I also never had Braxton hicks contractions, swelling, or aches/pains with Liam like I do with Quinn. I just already feel so anxious about what will happen and how, watching my health very carefully for any warning signs of pre-eclampsia. Im still feeling great overall, there's just more on my mind as the days go by. I feel like im in a constant battle of over analyzing everything that could happen, and reassuring myself that things are out of my hands and to just stay happy in the moment.


Ive also noticed such a different connection with Quinn while pregnant than I did with Liam. I know that this could be because of us losing Liam, and because of everything we went through with trying to get pregnant again. I just feel like I know Quinn so well already, like a glimpse of her personality. Being so familiar with her moves and knowing when shes awake or asleep, counting how many times a day she gets the hiccups (which she has right now), feeling her react to what I eat and drink and recognizing her patterns. I don't remember having all of that with Liam. He was active but less active. But again, I could have just not be as observant. It has created such a strong bond with Quinn though, and is making me that much more anxious to meet her. Then on my other crazy hormonal side, Im terrified for her to be here, and really really content with knowing she is just safe and sound inside me.


So many emotions and so much to be thankful for. Things have still been so happy. Busy, but happy! Every morning I wake up with this belly I couldn't feel more blessed. Please continue to keep us in your prayers these upcoming weeks! We love you all! Thank you!

Bump Update: Week 34

Week: 34
Baby Size: Pineapple
Pregnancy Side Effects: Swelling in the hands, Light cramping, Typical aches and pains, restless leg syndrome sometimes, sleepy pretty much ALL the time.
Bump Status: Large, almost always moving and shifting around, hard (Ahhh Wonderful to me!)

Currently...
Eating: Whatever sounds good, when it sounds good. Lots of cereal...
Craving: Schlotzsky's!
Drinking: Water & Juice
Wearing: Maternity Pants, shorts, tanks, and kimonos are my favorites!
Feeling: Still relatively good! But the pregnancy symptoms are definitely making me a bit more uncomfortable..
Weather: It was REALLY warming up, we even broke 100 degrees, but luckly this week we are back in the 70s!
Wanting: To be on leave, at home, with a beautiful baby girl in my arms...
Thinking: About how soon all of this can turn in to reality.
Enjoying: Being pregnant and feeling so close to Quinn with all of her movements.
Missing: Sleeping on my stomach most...
Doing: As much walking as I can fit in, no more gym time, but lots of resting.
Looking Forward To: Our upcoming next few weeks! Things are going to be so exciting!


So, I don't think I've posted since our baby shower! We had our shower right around 32 weeks. Let me just begin with - WOW. Our house was FILLED with so many loved ones and kindness and PINK! I don't even know where to begin with thanking everyone for everything. This wonderful little miracle rainbow baby is so special to everyone already. She was definitely not "sprinkled" with love, she was FLOODED with it! She was given more clothes, blankets, diapers, necessities, toys, and keepsakes than I could have imagined. It took two hours to just get through the gifts. I swear I'm not bragging, I'm just so unbelievably thankful for all of our family and friends. We live in the same city as each of our families (divorced on both sides) live. So any family event like this, we are blessed to have SO many family members so close to us to get to share all of these moments with. Its so wonderful, and we are so grateful for it! The weather was beautiful that day, everything went smoothly, and I felt fantastic all day. It was a wonderful perfect gorgeous day. If you would have asked me to even envision a day like this a year, or even two years ago, I would have broken down in tears just trying to fathom it. Now, today, this dream is coming true.

The day following the shower was spent entirely with baby laundry (three FULL loads), organizing, cleaning, and sorting through all Quinn's things. It was all I wanted to do for months! I didn't exactly mean to knock it all out in one day, but let me just tell you, that day was way too much fun for me! I got all of everything done that I wanted! Her room is completely complete!


Now during this 34th week, pregnancy is starting to get just a little heavier... I have an OB appointment this week, and every week from here on out. I'm starting to feel more weighed down, having more random aches and pains (all normal), restless leg syndrome while I'm trying to sleep or rest, nausea, my appetite is still very up and down, started swelling a bit, still always sleepy, and uncomfortable. None of these are that bad, but I'm definitely feeling the weight of them all, more. I don't remember feeling more like this with Liam until 36 weeks... So I guess it just comes with the territory! I'm just happy to still be feeling this well.


Its so surreal to think how soon Quinn can be here. I'm so excited for her, to see her and smell her and hold her and love her! This time a year ago we were just getting ready for another egg retrieval for our second full round of IVF. We had no idea from then to now that we would have another failed transfer, followed by a third transfer that would result in this wonderful miraculous pregnancy. I'm so happy to be where we are now.


Thank you all for sharing all of this happy with us! Thank you for all your love and support as always!

Bump Update: Week 28

Week: 28 (Hello 3rd Trimester!)
Baby Size: Head of Cauliflower
Pregnancy Side Effects: Tiredness...
Bump Status: LARGE Haha She's definitely growing, and getting stronger and stronger. Her movements are SO powerful and so often.

Currently...
Eating: Anything that sounds good!
Craving: Hmm.. Actually nothing recently...
Drinking: Water, Juice
Wearing: Maternity pants, leggings, tank tops.
Feeling:  WONDERFUL. Sure there's aches and pains sometimes and disrupted sleep, etc, but I really cant complain. I feel great most of the time.
Weather: Its warming up! I'm loving the warmer weather, but also getting anxious about how hot this summer is going to be..
Wanting: A vacation
Thinking: About our upcoming baby shower and April festivities
Enjoying: The weather and this bump!
Missing: Bike rides in weather like this
Doing: Still gyming 2-4 times a week, working, and finally quilting!
Looking Forward To: Our next ultrasound (We get an update on her weight and size)


These past two weeks have been wonderful! We finally had a 3 week break in between OB appointments, which was nice but still seemed to fly by. The whole pregnancy, as soon as we hit the second trimester, has seemed to fly by. Its been so wonderful.

She's always so stubborn when they try to see her and take pictures. She usually has her hands in front of her face or faces my spine. She's been tucked in a corner almost every single time. This time, she was head down in the cutest little fetal position with her knees to her chin. She was trying to turn away towards my spine again but we caught her. It was funny because before they started using the Doppler, I felt a foot on the upper left side of my stomach and I made Justin feel it, and the Dr goes, oh it might have been her butt or something, and as soon as she used the Doppler, she goes "Nope, that was clearly a foot!". Its been crazy to me how in tune I have been with her and her movements. Such a blessing.


Sharing so many of Quinn's movements with Justin, and just being blessed enough to be going through a pregnancy together again, ah, its just been so wonderful. I was finally able to commit on fabric to make Quinn her baby quilt also. With Liam this was so easy to do. With Quinn for whatever reason, it took me more than four trips matching and looking at fabrics and ideas. Its comforting to be finally working on it, and I love watching it all come together.


Thank you all again for your love and support! More happy updates to come!

Bump Update: 24 Weeks

Week: 24
Baby Size: Small Pizza
Pregnancy Side Effects: Round ligament pain, hip pain, sleepiness
Bump Status: Growing and growing!

Currently...
Eating: Cereal, Sweets, Veggies
Craving: All things sweet! And Pizza...
Drinking: Water, and veggie juice
Wearing: Maternity bottoms, and whatever tops that fit.
Feeling: Wonderful! So happy to see and feel so much movement so often.
Weather: The weather has been getting warmer! Im really looking forward to a beautiful Spring!
Wanting: ALL the sleep in the world...
Thinking: Recently I've been thinking about the next few months, and the anticipation of meeting Quinn, seeing what she'll look like, and imagining taking her home.
Enjoying: How well I'm feeling overall! I'm so happy to have the energy that I do :)
Missing: Cravings wise, nothing much...
Doing: We finished painting the nursery this week and will finalize the decorations soon!
Looking Forward To: Meeting this little sweet girl.

20 Weeks Bump Update

Week: 20
Baby Size: Artichoke (about 6.5 inches)
Pregnancy Side Effects: Feeling full, sensitive appetite, sleepy...
Bump Status: We finally have quite the little bump! I can feel her move so much, Justin actually got to feel her on his birthday from the outside!

Currently...Eating: Whatever I can! Monday - Friday we still eat pretty healthy, veggies, etc. I indulge in cravings more on the weekends. My appetite is still hit or miss, so I try to eat what I can (what sounds good) when I can.
Craving: S W E E T S.....
Drinking: Water, Juicy juice, and "maybe" a root beer on the weekend... ;)
Wearing: Jeans, Leggings, hoodies... Im still wearing regular clothes but I did start shopping for maternity jeans because they look much cuter than my regular jeans do at the moment..
Feeling: So very content... So happy to feel her every day and have the reassurance that she's there, and just wiggling around... I love knowing there's two of us, and we just get to spend all our time together now!
Weather: It has been a crazy winter so far... So much rain, and wind, and full overcast days... I love it! But it also makes it way too easy to stay home, under a blanket, on the couch.. My poor pups hate it...
Wanting: Our next ultrasound appointment to go well! Next week we have a cardiologist looking at our little miss, to closely examine her heart, etc. Im really anxious to get such a detailed look at her! Praying for all great news that day!!
Thinking: About everything our near future may hold... Really recently concerned with how to raise a daughter vs a son... And wondering how we can brainwash her to never want electronics and social media over quality time with her super cool parents...
Enjoying: Just overall - being pregnant. Its taken so long to be here again.. Im just so happy for it. So thankful. Its been 20 weeks and it still feels like a such a gift each day.. Its still surreal..
Missing: Queso from Café Rio... and The Bravo sandwich from Panera...
Doing: Working, Exercising, Sleeping, Nursery planning....
Looking Forward To: Painting the nursery and buying things for our little princess!


I just cant believe we are at the half-way mark! Ah how much I LOVE the second trimester! Even though I haven't gotten much energy back yet, I'm so happy to no longer be nauseas or not being able to eat anything! My appetite is still just weird.. But its so much better than it was! Its SO nice to enjoy eating again! I also love the second trimester because I constantly feel little mighty movements from our little girl. Its crazy how in tune with my body I have become since carrying Liam, and going through other pregnancies. I was thankfully able to feel Quinn move so early in my pregnancy. But now shes finally at the strength that Im confident of her kicks and movements. She keeps me company all day with her little "hello's". They always make me smile, and its so wonderful to have something that makes you that happy, that often throughout the day regardless of whatever else may be happening around you. <3


Its been harder to write lately... It started to seem like more of a chore (as in the pressure to keep people updated) instead of a form of therapy for me. It was also hard for me to find a positive point of view to write from while we were still in the earlier stages of pregnancy. It usually takes 90% of my energy to keep my self convinced that everything is okay, and will be okay, so writing that down for others just went in some different directions. I noticed it wasn't from the heart, because I was too scared to be too honest. This whole process has so many fears that are so real, and so heavy, I just wanted to keep my head down and keep moving forward... To "get through it" while being thankful and optimistically enjoying the process... That by itself was too much. So I decided to scale back until it felt right and real again. So here we are!


Justin and I took the leap this past weekend to clear out Liam's nursery. I loved his nursery SO much and had so many expectations of experiences we would have in that room. It was really hard to take down. The sentiment that was in each toy he never played with, sheets that never needed to be washed or changed, diapers that were still waiting to be used, wipes that were dried out, and clothes that he never grew into.... These things had already been processed and accepted.. But it was still so hard to pack it away. I was hoping he had more unisex cloths that we could have his sister wear, but it didn't really work out that way. I did find some of his clothes, shoes, and toys that would be perfect to pass on to his sister. That gave me so much joy. We want her to always know she has a big brother in heaven, an angel, watching over her. We don't know how soon to go into his full story, or how soon it will be necessary to, but we want her to be surrounded by him as much as we are, as a family. Im really happy for the things of his that I can use for her. Im happy that the room that we will bring Quinn home to one day will be the same room I nursed and cared for her brother in -same walls, same rocker, same crib.... I hope these things will bring comfort and peace in with the other waves of emotion that I know will keep coming.


Another thing that's been on my mind is raising a girl vs raising a boy. With Liam I just assumed we were in for a roller coaster of parenthood.... He was a boy! He would bring me bugs, be rough but sweet at the same time, he would see how well his Dad treated his mom and see what a great male role model looked like, we could have looser reigns on what he did, and I loved the bond that I feel all boys just have with their mothers - forever... But a daughter!? I thought we would have Liam as a baseline... and could learn from our mistakes and triumphs with him, how to adjust for her... (Because parenting is clearly this easy right....? What do we know... lol) But with a girl.... Oye... Some of the relationships I know between mother and daughter.... Eekk.. Not to mention my own relationship with my mother... EEEEEKKKKKKkkk... I mean, we are at a much better place now, but growing up, the teen years... YIKES. Its terrifying. Now I have all these new fears of my daughter even liking me when she's older! I did not have this worry with Liam... I was his mom... Boys love their moms! Something else that started weighing on me more was wondering how to raise her knowing her self worth and ensuring she is confident with herself and her view of beauty. Especially in a world and specifically a city that well... has sex plastered everywhere. Now I feel all this pressure of making sure she grows up loving her self , understanding what real beauty, kindness, respect, and self esteem is and should be despite what is around you. How can I already want SO many things for a tiny artichoke sized miracle baby? Im sure this is what every parent thinks and Im telling myself to stay calm and take things day by day. But some times this racing mind of mine just takes off and all of a sudden Im overwhelmed with how to do any of this... I had different fears but still fears with Liam and how to raise him. I think that not getting to see any of that through for him makes it hard to envision with Quinn. But, how much does anybody know? We all just try our best to be our best for our kids and families.


Im so excited to be where we are today. Im really excited to begin this new adventure. Im completely happy with being pregnant right now. So incredibly thankful for the opportunity at all. Thank you all for listening to my hormonal ramblings! Thanks for supporting and loving us through this journey. I hope I have many MANY happy updates to continue to share!