16 Weeks

Week: 16
Baby Size: Avocado (4in-5in)
Pregnancy Side Effects: Sensitive Stomach, & Sleepiness
Bump Status: My lower stomach is super hard, and when I lay on my back I can feel where the baby is! I have also been feeling more and more kicks!

Currently...
Eating: Fruit snacks, Pizza, Veggies, Sweets... (This baby throws me for a loop with how my eating habits are changed... Chicken is almost impossible to eat, along with most meats, and I just want crap food, but it never sits well, so I don't typically eat that either..)
Craving: Nachos, Cornbread, Ice Cream, Pizza, Cool Ranch Doritos....
Drinking: Decaffeinated Tea, Water, Juicy Juice
Wearing: Jeans, Leggings, Sweaters
Feeling: Wonderful! Sleepy!
Weather: VERY cold for December, but very refreshing.
Wanting: To sleep and cuddle all day while binge watching tv.
Thinking: About planning a new nursery for our baby girl Quinn and how to incorporate Liams things in it.
Enjoying: The dreams and realities of having a little girl.
Missing: Liam, especially more lately. Wanting to share all of this with him too. Missing warm yummy  coffee also...
Doing: Working, Exercising, and relaxing!
Looking Forward To: Starting nursery plans!










Justin has been working 6 days a week for awhile now and our only extra time off together seemed to revolve around doctor appointments. We were lucky enough to get to take a full 2 week vacation for Christmas. During this time we were also able to take a trip to Disneyland! Disneyland is a ridiculously special place for us. Im a Disney fanatic and my husband took me to Disneyland for the very first time ever when we first started dating. He eventually even proposed at Snow Whites wishing well. We've been back more times than we can count since then and made so many memories. We went while we were pregnant with Liam and it was so special to me. We also went with our other pregnancy, and we were happy to go for this one as well. Our original plan was to take our pups with us (Cassius, Laila and Nala). Cassius was recently diagnosed with Lymphoma and we didn't want to risk anything happening to him while we were gone and thought it would be a nice trip for all of us to experience together. Unfortunately, Cassius didn't live long enough for this. We made a decision to lay him to rest when his health took a quick turn for the worst. This was really rough for us. Cassius was the most amazing caring and protective dog. He was the absolute best with kids. Even in the short time he was with Liam he was so attached and concerned for him. We really planned on having him around when we started our family and always pictured him playing with our children. Like most things in our life, that plan did not fold out either. It may not have been Gods plan, or meant to be. Regardless, Im happy to feel that he is no longer in pain, and didn't that he didn't suffer. I also like to think that him and Liam are together; a little boy and his dog. The feeling in our home changed yet again, while the other two pups were adapting. Not wanting to leave their sides either, during our time off we did go forward with the Disney trip and brought Laila and Nala with us. It was bittersweet but special at the same time. They got to stay at the Disneyland Kennel Club while we made memories inside the park. We also visited Huntington beach for the first time with Laila. We are so thankful for these pups in our lives to help us smile and fill our days. The trip overall was such a blessing and a memorable time, especially while carrying this little skittle packet sized miracle!


During Christmas we were very excited to announce to all of our families (We both have divorced families that all live locally, so we typically have 4 or more gatherings for the holidays) individually with a special gender reveal cupcake that we are expecting a baby girl! We chose a family member at each stop to bite into a special cupcake to find that it was filled with pink sprinkles inside. It made it really fun and special for everyone around us. It made Christmas especially special for us. Christmas since Liam has been really hard. Its always nice to be surrounded by our families, especially because I know how close they are to Liam too. Its when we return home to an quiet house that it really sets in. A tree that should be covered with toddler gifts, and wrapping all over the floor. The day after Christmas when most were still off work, I ran errands passing houses and all I could think about was the joy that must have been inside of them. Kids that are playing with all their new things, parents joining in, just basking in the happiness of the day. It hit me pretty hard. What I would give to have that with Justin and Liam. He would be at such a fun age right now. Such a growing and learning age discovering new things and expressing him self more openly. I wish he could be here for this pregnancy and the welcoming of his new little sister. Instead it brings me joy and comfort to know he will always watch over her and us from above. As this pregnancy progresses I find that Im faced more and more with so many realities. So many different emotions that are hard to separate and justify. We want a family so much, but equally want Liam here with us as part of that family. I know that's something we cant change, but it will just always ache. I want this little girl to know every part of her brothers time with us, his story. Im also worried how much of a crazy mother Ill be with her in fear of everything that we had seen with Liam. I know Ill be more scared and cautious than normal. I know Ill see similarities and differences in them. I know I will relive a lot of really hard emotions and memories. I know it will take us awhile to adjust back in to active parenthood while adapting to parenting after a loss. My heart is just already filled with so much love and gratitude. It just also has a lot of grieving space for Liam that I don't think could ever be filled or replaced by anything else. I think at my absolute happiest, I will still feel incomplete without him. I also think that's okay. That's just how it will be and there will still be plenty of room in my heart for all of the love and happiness to come. One big, complex, deep, strong, and loving family.


I'm excited for the weeks to come. So happy to be at a place with this pregnancy that isn't as terrifying second by second as the beginning weeks. Even with the rougher symptoms that Ive experienced with this pregnancy, Im just as happy and content as can be, enjoying each and every moment of it especially since her little kicks and movements have been occurring daily. :)


Thank you all for your love and support for us all during this journey! I hope to continue sharing many more happy happy updates!