20 Weeks Bump Update

Week: 20
Baby Size: Artichoke (about 6.5 inches)
Pregnancy Side Effects: Feeling full, sensitive appetite, sleepy...
Bump Status: We finally have quite the little bump! I can feel her move so much, Justin actually got to feel her on his birthday from the outside!

Currently...Eating: Whatever I can! Monday - Friday we still eat pretty healthy, veggies, etc. I indulge in cravings more on the weekends. My appetite is still hit or miss, so I try to eat what I can (what sounds good) when I can.
Craving: S W E E T S.....
Drinking: Water, Juicy juice, and "maybe" a root beer on the weekend... ;)
Wearing: Jeans, Leggings, hoodies... Im still wearing regular clothes but I did start shopping for maternity jeans because they look much cuter than my regular jeans do at the moment..
Feeling: So very content... So happy to feel her every day and have the reassurance that she's there, and just wiggling around... I love knowing there's two of us, and we just get to spend all our time together now!
Weather: It has been a crazy winter so far... So much rain, and wind, and full overcast days... I love it! But it also makes it way too easy to stay home, under a blanket, on the couch.. My poor pups hate it...
Wanting: Our next ultrasound appointment to go well! Next week we have a cardiologist looking at our little miss, to closely examine her heart, etc. Im really anxious to get such a detailed look at her! Praying for all great news that day!!
Thinking: About everything our near future may hold... Really recently concerned with how to raise a daughter vs a son... And wondering how we can brainwash her to never want electronics and social media over quality time with her super cool parents...
Enjoying: Just overall - being pregnant. Its taken so long to be here again.. Im just so happy for it. So thankful. Its been 20 weeks and it still feels like a such a gift each day.. Its still surreal..
Missing: Queso from Café Rio... and The Bravo sandwich from Panera...
Doing: Working, Exercising, Sleeping, Nursery planning....
Looking Forward To: Painting the nursery and buying things for our little princess!


I just cant believe we are at the half-way mark! Ah how much I LOVE the second trimester! Even though I haven't gotten much energy back yet, I'm so happy to no longer be nauseas or not being able to eat anything! My appetite is still just weird.. But its so much better than it was! Its SO nice to enjoy eating again! I also love the second trimester because I constantly feel little mighty movements from our little girl. Its crazy how in tune with my body I have become since carrying Liam, and going through other pregnancies. I was thankfully able to feel Quinn move so early in my pregnancy. But now shes finally at the strength that Im confident of her kicks and movements. She keeps me company all day with her little "hello's". They always make me smile, and its so wonderful to have something that makes you that happy, that often throughout the day regardless of whatever else may be happening around you. <3


Its been harder to write lately... It started to seem like more of a chore (as in the pressure to keep people updated) instead of a form of therapy for me. It was also hard for me to find a positive point of view to write from while we were still in the earlier stages of pregnancy. It usually takes 90% of my energy to keep my self convinced that everything is okay, and will be okay, so writing that down for others just went in some different directions. I noticed it wasn't from the heart, because I was too scared to be too honest. This whole process has so many fears that are so real, and so heavy, I just wanted to keep my head down and keep moving forward... To "get through it" while being thankful and optimistically enjoying the process... That by itself was too much. So I decided to scale back until it felt right and real again. So here we are!


Justin and I took the leap this past weekend to clear out Liam's nursery. I loved his nursery SO much and had so many expectations of experiences we would have in that room. It was really hard to take down. The sentiment that was in each toy he never played with, sheets that never needed to be washed or changed, diapers that were still waiting to be used, wipes that were dried out, and clothes that he never grew into.... These things had already been processed and accepted.. But it was still so hard to pack it away. I was hoping he had more unisex cloths that we could have his sister wear, but it didn't really work out that way. I did find some of his clothes, shoes, and toys that would be perfect to pass on to his sister. That gave me so much joy. We want her to always know she has a big brother in heaven, an angel, watching over her. We don't know how soon to go into his full story, or how soon it will be necessary to, but we want her to be surrounded by him as much as we are, as a family. Im really happy for the things of his that I can use for her. Im happy that the room that we will bring Quinn home to one day will be the same room I nursed and cared for her brother in -same walls, same rocker, same crib.... I hope these things will bring comfort and peace in with the other waves of emotion that I know will keep coming.


Another thing that's been on my mind is raising a girl vs raising a boy. With Liam I just assumed we were in for a roller coaster of parenthood.... He was a boy! He would bring me bugs, be rough but sweet at the same time, he would see how well his Dad treated his mom and see what a great male role model looked like, we could have looser reigns on what he did, and I loved the bond that I feel all boys just have with their mothers - forever... But a daughter!? I thought we would have Liam as a baseline... and could learn from our mistakes and triumphs with him, how to adjust for her... (Because parenting is clearly this easy right....? What do we know... lol) But with a girl.... Oye... Some of the relationships I know between mother and daughter.... Eekk.. Not to mention my own relationship with my mother... EEEEEKKKKKKkkk... I mean, we are at a much better place now, but growing up, the teen years... YIKES. Its terrifying. Now I have all these new fears of my daughter even liking me when she's older! I did not have this worry with Liam... I was his mom... Boys love their moms! Something else that started weighing on me more was wondering how to raise her knowing her self worth and ensuring she is confident with herself and her view of beauty. Especially in a world and specifically a city that well... has sex plastered everywhere. Now I feel all this pressure of making sure she grows up loving her self , understanding what real beauty, kindness, respect, and self esteem is and should be despite what is around you. How can I already want SO many things for a tiny artichoke sized miracle baby? Im sure this is what every parent thinks and Im telling myself to stay calm and take things day by day. But some times this racing mind of mine just takes off and all of a sudden Im overwhelmed with how to do any of this... I had different fears but still fears with Liam and how to raise him. I think that not getting to see any of that through for him makes it hard to envision with Quinn. But, how much does anybody know? We all just try our best to be our best for our kids and families.


Im so excited to be where we are today. Im really excited to begin this new adventure. Im completely happy with being pregnant right now. So incredibly thankful for the opportunity at all. Thank you all for listening to my hormonal ramblings! Thanks for supporting and loving us through this journey. I hope I have many MANY happy updates to continue to share!